Denise is Losing It
Denise's Weightloss Journal

So, I was only .6 off of my 10% this week, now I'm going to have to be extra careful over the holiday weekend!

I just took my measurements, (because I want to buy a swim suit from Lands End) and it's interesting to compare to April of 2008.

Here we are:
April '08 July 1, '09
Bust 48.25" 45.625"
Waist 45.875" 42.25"
Hips 56.375" 50.5"

That brings up the point that I use a measureing tape that has this little "snap-slider-guide-thingy" I couldn't find it for sale online, but I took pictures. This is a great tape because it "records" the size in a very low tech way. After you move the slider to the right position, it keeps that position when you move the tape away, keeping the right measurement. It's hard to explain, but easy to work. I highly reccomend it, if you can find one!

So, just after the last post I joined Weight Watchers. Because of that I was able to go back to my Weight Watcher's file last Tuesday and record my weights since then. Thanks to fridge graph I was able to make you this handy dandy picture of my progress between then and now. The green line tracks my weigh-ins, the grey line is just the straight line from my weight at first weigh in to my weight at last Tuesday's weigh in.



Of course, progress is never as fast as I would like. You will note that in my last post that I wanted to be 210 by the holidays, and I'm just there now! I want a quick shedding of the weight, without willing to put in the work. Near the beginning of the graph there, you can see the spike for Thanksgiving and our trip. Strangely enough, Christmas was not a big issue for me, I lost over December. It did help that I don't remember a whole lot of parties associated with Christmas this year. Just the ward party I think. Anyway, then there was a slight uptick in January, less activity in the cold weather, combined with lots of warm food I'm sure. Then comes slightly down, slightly up, and so on in so forth. The first week in May we went on vacation, and I missed two Tuesdays. Then it was Election Day here in California, and since our site is a polling place, I missed a third Tuesday. After a month away, some of which were vacation days, yeah, it was a spike up!

What was really great was that with one week's strong effort I was back down, yipee.

I was disappointed in myself because I ate too much ice cream last Saturday, didn't pay too much attention to Sunday, and was up .6 on Tuesday. I'm very close to my weight watchers 10% (207) and was hoping to get it. Instead I was up, ugh!! There is always next week.



(This is picture is from the 6th of June)

Losing weight is work!! I took the rest of the summer (and the first part of fall!) off. Now that doesn't mean I went crazy. I know if I really want I can gain 3 lbs a week and wipe out a 30lb loss in 10 weeks no problem. I did go up to 235 on vacation, so I've lost a bit of weight recently, but the net isn't all that impressive. I've been walking regularly, but at an easy conversational pace most of the time. Also, although most weekdays I keep careful track of what I'm eating, on the weekends I don't such a good job. The sad fact is that one or two "normal" fast food and/or restaurant meals on the weekend can void a week of keeping track. It won't kill you, but it won't lead to fast weight loss either!!

So, now before the winter holidays start I'm ready to start to work. My goal is to be at about 210 before holding steady for the holidays and start the new year as a size 20. I also still have the goal of returning to the Fontana Days race and walking the half-marathon.

My weight loss is proceeding, somewhat slower than I would like, but that's my own fault. I am not always good about writing down what I eat. When I write it down, then I can keep track and I stay under what I need too. However, when I don't write it down, stuff gets away from me. Either I forget this bite here and that nibble there, or I don't realize how bad bad is. (I mean, I was never under any delusion that homemade macaroni and cheese was low density diet food, but 16 points for a cup!) (Or the salad that I *did* think was diet food, but the 1/2 cup of nuts added mucho points that put me over the top.)

Anyway, that's the way it goes. Supposedly the slower it comes off the longer it stays off. I hope so! That would be my only consolation.

I did finally get to my first 10% goal, that was 234lbs. Now the next big step is to get to 225lbs. That is when I drop my daily points from 28 to 26. Then down to 211, that will be the next 10% and so on. Happy Counting on this happy fouth you all!

I had a big drop this week, but I also have a cold, and strangly enough for me I haven't felt like eathing as much. I also walked the lake 5 days this week. Go me! The key was that I found another mom that is interested in being active. An obligation to go walking is critical.

AJ and I walked our first official 5K since a little over a year ago, May 26, 2007 to be exact. Back then, at 3 months pregnant, my 5K time was 46 min 4 seconds. Today, by my timer, my time was 56 minutes 49 seconds. (I can't get to the official results yet.) I am thrilled with my time. My goal was to finish in under an hour, which I did. The first time I made it all the way around the lake with a stroller (a 5K more or less) it took me 85 minutes; that was mid April. So, I've made lots of progress so far. My next race will be our local one here in Crestline, The Run Through the Pines on August 9. My goal for that 5K will be to finish in under 45 minutes. Got to get training!

My weight is slowly going down. I'm not too worried, because I know I'll lose a little bit more in a couple of days when I'm no longer bloated. Overall my struggle right now is avoiding snacking and nibbling. I know that lots of people have had success with lots of mini-meals throughout the day. However, I like to eat dinner with my husband, and I have no desire to fix two meals, a "normal" one for him and a "mini" one for me. For me, If I'm going to eat a full meal in the evening, that means no snacking during the day. I still eat a full breakfast and a full lunch. For example, yesterday: Breakfast, oatmeal and a banana (6 points); Lunch, leftover beans and rice and two apricots (10 points); Dinner, a bowl of homemade cream of broccoli soup and a sandwich roll (7 points). Generally I'm fairly happy this way even if my calories can occasionally be "top heavy"--more at the end of the day. I'm doing much better at getting in all my fruits and veggies because I have a new plan: a serving of fruit with breakfast, a serving of fruit and a serving of veggies with lunch (I missed lunch's veggies yesterday) and two servings of veggies with dinner. What is not in the above list (but is in my accounting) is the other 5 points I ate yesterday, all in bites and nibbles: 5 chips here (1 point), a dove chocolate there (1point), and licking the spoon when making brownies (3 points). As I continue to lose weight, these are the calories that are going to have to go out the window. Also, I'm going to have to find some space for some low fat dairy or my bones are going to hate me later, but that's another post.

P.S. What does the above graphic have to do with anything? Nothing, I just like it. :-)

My metabolism has not been cooperating lately. It's been doing this wierd thing where I'll hover on the same weight for 5 or more days and then blamo drop by more than a pound overnight. The sudden drops are nice, but a steady loss, say two tenths of a pound a day, would be more reinforcing. I do try to take small victories while I wait for the scale to catch up with me, but it's not as fun.

So, that's a new picture. When you're as big as I am, 5 pounds, meh, drop in the bucket. It's important psycologically, better down than up, but it doesn't exactly show up in pictures. This week I have been making a concerted effort to eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day (two of fruit, three of veggies). This is hard! A whole lot harder than I thought it would be. I mentioned before that I've cut my daily calorie consumption about in half. While I believe that overall calorie consumption is fundamentally the way you lose weight, I do think that better quality calories enable you to stick with a diet. Sure, I bet I could eat 4 or 5 candy bars every day, nothing else, and lose weight. However, I don't think that I would last on that diet very long. For one thing it would not be a very large volume of food, and my empty tummy would be yelling at me to get some McDonalds. Now, let’s say that I eat my same 4 to 5 candy bars plus lots and lots of diet soda to fill my tummy. I still don't think I would be able to stay on that diet very long, because my body would have me craving other foods to fill in nutrient gaps.

I know that left to my own devices I eat mostly carbs. Rice, pasta, bread, this is what I eat when I'm cooking only for me. However, I notice that after two to three days of this I begin craving a hamburger. If I think about it I realize I haven't had much protein and then I try to make a lean protein choice. The problem is if I *don't* think about it. For some reason I never have a craving for a lean chicken breast. I want a juicy (read fatty) hamburger. The chicken breast is satisfying, but I have to plan.

So, fruits and vegetables have two virtues. First, they put bulk in your tummy for comparatively few calories. Second, they give you nutrients that are hard to get other ways and fill your body’s nutrient cravings.

With both of these wonderful qualities why is it so hard for me to eat them? Most days I have one serving of fruit and one serving of vegetables, but I am improving. That's up from rarely just a few weeks ago. Soon, I hope these servings of fresh food will come as naturally as breathing.

I don't know very many fat people who can claim to like the idea of diet and exercise. If I liked eating less and moving lots, I wouldn't be fat, now would I? They're just nasty words for lots of people, including me, most of the time. However, since I want to change the way I look and feel, something in my life is going to have to change. Because I want to make a dramatic change in my energy levels and clothing size, this is, inevitably going to mean a big change in what I eat and how many calories I burn in a day. The debate is how big a change, how fast?

Big dramatic changes have their pros and cons: On the pro side, I am more likely to see positive results in a shorter time, keeping me motivated. Of course, dramatic changes are also harder to keep up, so will my results and other enforcers be enough to keep me motivated through painful changes?

On the flip side, small changes are easier to maintain, not so painful. However, the results don't come as fast, so it's easy to slowly slip that couple of inches back into old habits. Can I maintain a small change that I know will eventually yield results?

Of course, just to be contrary, I'm starting out doing a little of both!

On the big change side is my diet, my food plan, my eating plan, whatever words make you feel good. When I'm eating with in a careless way, I estimate that I can easily eat up to 4,000 calories in a day, especially on vacation, and maybe 3,000 calories while at home. For that last couple of weeks I've been eating about half of that. On WW, 28 points, what I'm eating now, is more or less 1400 calories a day. That is a big change! However, that number is not likely go very much lower. I will gradually go further down, but have a hard time imagining myself at 1000 calories a day. We'll see as we go. (More about what exactly I'm eating in future blog posts)

On the small change side, is my level of movement, exercise, whatever. For the last couple of weeks I've been going around the lake once or twice a week. For me that's 85 to 170 minutes of exercise a week, and only at a moderate pace at that. (I’m out of breath, but not really that sweaty) This week, so far I’ve only walked on Wednesday. Maybe I’ll get out later today and/or on Saturday. In that last three weeks, as I've been going around the lake, my time hasn't gotten any lower; I'm not getting any faster, at least not so far. That's discouraging. As I keep going along this journey, my exercise frequency and intensity level is going to have to change dramatically. I do believe that I could get to my weight goal by only controlling what I eat, but that'd only be half of the results I want, with very little added energy. I would also have to continue to reduce my diet severely as I continue, if I don't add in exercise, an option that just sounds too scary.

The truly scary part is, that if I want the changes to my body to permanent, these life style changes will have to be permanent too. hmmm....

So, that's me, Denise, and this is my blog. If you've looked around even a little you know that this one is focused on weight loss, so here are the vital statistics. On a good morning I'm 5' 4" inches tall. This morning I weighed 248.2 lbs. I also measured myself: Bust 48 1/8", Waist 45 7/8", and Hips 56 3/8". That gives me a BMI of 42.6, morbidly obese. Technically I would barely qualify for bariatric surgery. I'm not interested in that right now. Several people close to me have had the surgery and I have seen that it can have dramatic results. It also has its own set of side effects. If I were to start to develop type 2 diabetes (a distinct possibility) I may be more inclined, but for now I'm going to try this the old fashioned way.

My weight history is fairly unexceptional. I was a normal, skinny child. However, when puberty came and I stopped growing up I started growing up. As I recall. I started High School at 150lbs, slightly chubby, but nothing to write home about. Four years later, 1994, I was roughly 200lbs. On and off efforts in college would result in small dips or leveling off followed by another climb. By 2001 I was about 250lbs and ready for a serious change. Starting that summer I threw all my effort into Weight Watchers. I'd done Weight Watchers before, but this time I really worked at doing it well. By December of 2002 when I got married I was down to 190lbs, a total loss of 60lbs. An extremely stressful job put the weight right back on. The pattern in college then repeated itself: an effort, a dip, followed by relaxing and leveling off, followed by more relaxing and another climb. In March of 2007 our prayers were answered and at 230lbs I got pregnant. By December I delivered a healthy baby boy and I weighed 260lbs. In the time since then I have lost some weight, but I need a more focused effort with some faster results, so I don't give up and go right back up.

In my weight loss battle, like everyone, I have some cards stacked against me. My drawbacks are these: I can't afford a personal chef or a personal trainer. I have never been an active person, all my hobbies are sedentary (like sitting at a computer and blogging *grin*). I need to cook for a husband, and don't have the extra money for my own pre portioned meals (Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, and so on). Also, I'm at home with a baby most of the day, prime time for unconscious eating. There is no gym near me that is really convenient, even if I could afford one. I also live on top of a mountain, so the roads around me are sloped, making for difficult walking. Sidewalks around here are also nearly nonexistent, making walking not just difficult, but dangerous!

Enough whining, those are the negatives, let's move on. I also have some pluses working for me. First, I know what works for me: the Weight Watchers point system (more about that later). Second, since I cook for my husband I control all the food that comes into the house, and I control what is for dinner. I also have a disincentive to rely on fast food, I need to get home and make dinner. Third, although walking on the neighborhood streets near me generally isn't practical or safe we have a great county park a mile and a half that is a little lake with a nice smooth path (perfect for a stroller). One circuit around is roughly a 5K, or 3.2 miles. That's a nice distance to burn a decent amount of calories and still be doable for a morbidly obese woman pushing a stroller. Lastly, and most importantly, right now I have the time. I know from my previous effort that, at least at first, an intense amount of time and effort is needed to change old habits.

Lastly for today, I’ll include a note about Weight Watchers. It is my opinion that there are two basic ways for controlling what you eat. First, you can count something. That something can be carb grams, calories, fat grams, or portions of food, as in the diabetic exchange system. As far as I can tell all of these systems work reasonably well as long as you keep an accurate count. Second, you can extremely restrict what types of food you eat. This would be the Eat Right for Your Type diet the Zone Diet and others. Again, these diets also work just as well as you follow them. Weight Watchers offers an eating plan for each system. For the counters there are points. Points is the Weight Watchers system that mainly uses calories, but also fat and fiber, to give every food in the world a point value. You then count the value of all the food you eat, making sure to eat a minimum number of points in a day, and stopping before you go too far. Or, they offer a core plan. The core plan restricts you to certain, mostly high fiber, low fat foods, along with lean cuts of meat and certain dairy products. With this plan there is still a bare minimum of counting. For more details about either I encourage you to go the Weight Watchers website or a local meeting. A second crucial part of the Weight Watchers plan, at least I know it's crucial to me, are the meetings. Having accountability and a community is a huge (pun intended) help. I prefer not the pay the weekly fee, for now, for that community and accountability. Instead, I'm putting this out in the ethos and hoping to build my own community and be accountable to you all (whoever you all may be). I fully expect that later, when I get closer to my goal I will be in a position to start attending meetings.

More next week--Denise

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